


please render me now a speechless scientist

by heartthrobholtzy



Series: Speechless Scientists [3]
Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: Dorks in Love, F/F, Fluff, Scientist girlfriends, my sweet buttercup babies, smut probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2016-10-22
Packaged: 2018-07-28 22:51:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 6,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7660018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartthrobholtzy/pseuds/heartthrobholtzy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being scientist girlfriends is hard, but worthwhile for Erin Gilbert and Jillian Holtzmann. Maybe there are some scientific breakthroughs that can make their relationship go a little more smoothly?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Loving Jillian Holtzmann was a lot like living with a ghost. And Erin Gilbert would know.

Someone beautiful (and a little terrifying) came to her bed every night, but she couldn't talk about it to anyone. And all day, she would hear the bangs and rattles that revealed Holtz’s presence nearby, but she wouldn't see her.

Erin tried not to interrupt Holtz's work. She didn't want to be That Kind Of Girlfriend. But she did miss the time they'd spent together during the day, and Holtzmann was avoiding team meetings so she didn't let the cat out of the bag about their relationship.

They'd gotten into the habit of leaving work separately. Trying to coordinate their work so they were both ready to leave at the same time was too stressful. It involved dragging Holtzmann away from something still running, or Erin waiting for ‘just a few more minutes’ for hours. Now, Holtz would show up at Erin's apartment when she'd finished. After the first few times of Holtzmann waking her up when she finished whatever it was she'd been doing until 3am, Erin gave her a key. It wasn't a big deal or anything, Erin had told herself. It was purely practical. She moved so quietly that Erin never noticed that Holtzmann had let herself in until she felt her slide into bed.

Erin had also gotten into the habit of making breakfast these days. She and Holtz didn't have dinner together very often because of her girlfriend’s habit of getting caught up in an intricate bit of machinery. So she made eggs. She bought a waffle iron. She tried making oatmeal once, but had given up when Holtz had laughed at her for not being able to get the spoon out.  
“Let's grab a mcmuffin, babe.” Holtz had laughed, leading her away from the unshiftable lump in the bottom of the saucepan.


	2. Chapter 2

Abby had tried to ask what had happened between her and Holtzmann, whether she seemed ok since her freak out in the art gallery bathroom, why Holtzmann had been cheerfully avoiding the rest of the team for weeks now. Erin evaded the questions.  
“Have you spoken to her, um, to Holtz, um, to, to Holtzmann?”  
“She's fine one on one!” Abby said, visibly frustrated. “She just gets weird when we’re all together.”  
“I think she's just working hard.” Erin answered. Abby frowned.  
“She _does_ seems to be sleeping better." Abby admitted. "And she said she's stopped having nightmares.” Erin blushed to the roots of her hair.  
"See? She's probably fine."


	3. Chapter 3

Erin was surprised by the rhythmless clattering knock on her apartment door less than an hour after she'd gotten home. Holtzmann wouldn't be there for hours, and no one else had a key to the building. Maybe it was one of her neighbours. The knock rang out again, obviously impatient, and Erin heard the strains of a little song.  
“..open the door, this is kinda heavy, open up the door...” It WAS Holtz. Erin swung the door open. Holtzmann was jiggle-dancing impatiently and holding two grocery bags.  
“Come in.” said Erin automatically, moving out of the way. “Why didn't you let yourself in?” Holtzman put the grocery bags down on the kitchen counter.  
“Not my home. Didn't want to…” She turned around so she was facing Erin, who was stood in the living area, separated from Holtz by the breakfast bar. “...take liberties." Erin felt herself flush.

Holtz leaned on the kitchen island, watching her girlfriend colour as she stood indecisively in the living area. The front door was still open. She smirked her widest smirk. “I'm making you dinner.” 

When she'd finished, it was like a ghost had exploded a hotdog stand. Holtzmann had put together a simple salad from pre-packaged ingredients from the fancy organic supermarket. Erin had no idea how Holtz had used two chopping boards, six bowls and a dozen spoons in the time it had taken her to open a bottle of wine.

“Cracked these walnuts myself.” drawled Holtz as they sat down together. Erin had heard The Nutcracker from above her this afternoon.  
“You're in your lab a lot lately...” Erin started. Holtzmann just looked back at her, calmly taking a sip of wine. “Abby is getting suspicious.” Holtz grimaced.  
“I know. She said I'd been too quiet and asked about my love life.”  
“What did you say?” Erin couldn't resist. She wanted to know what Holtz had said. Holtz just shrugged.  
“Told her I _loved_ doubling the capacity of the proton packs.” She smiled wickedly.


	4. Chapter 4

Erin felt an uncharacteristic irritation as Holtzmann kicked her feet against the bottom of the mattress in her sleep. They'd gone to bed early, warm with wine and affection. Holtz had looked her straight in the eye and then done that thing with her tongue. A few hours later, Holtz was sated and sleeping. Erin felt wide awake. She had the kind of headache you get when you stay awake long enough to sober up. She rolled over. Holtzmann's t-shirt was draped over the bedside lamp. Erin pulled it off impatiently, and threw it in the direction of her laundry basket.  
“Sup?” asked Holtz sleepily. She rolled over too, so that she was spooning Erin instead of lying face-down in a starfish.  
“Nothing.” Erin lied.

Holtz was freshly showered and had already pinned her hair into its trademark coif when Erin woke up. She was draped sideways along the bed, wearing her red silk smoking jacket and strawberry print boxers, reading something on her tablet.  
“Hey, good looking." she greeted Erin.  
“Do you need a drawer?” Erin blurted.  
“That would be cool, I could do with an extra set of tools handy.” Holtz looked into Erin's alarmed face. “Kidding, kidding. That would be cool. Do you want some OJ?”  
“You… You haven't made breakfast have you?” Erin stuttered, sitting up in a panic. Holtz laughed gleefully.  
“No. But I cleaned up the kitchen from last night. Well, most of it. You need a new whisk.”  
Erin flopped back down on to her back.  
“You're up early.” she said  
“Rereading my lease. It's almost up and they're not renewing for ’insurance reasons’ on ‘the fire marshal's advice’.” Holtzmann tucked her chin in to her neck and rolled her eyes. “Riiiiiight.”  
“Oh.” was all Erin could say. Her offer of drawer space suddenly felt awkward and ill-timed.

At work, Erin made a list. It was supposed to be a list of apartments that Holtzmann should look at, but it ended up being a list of apartments she and Holtzmann could look at. Two bedrooms. A balcony. Bike racks. A roof garden. Window seats. Gym in the basement. It was silly, really. Could she honestly imagine Holtz growing tomatoes on a balcony? And she would be banned from an apartment complex’s gym within the first week for trying to optimise the equipment. Besides. Holtz made a mess wherever she went and broke things constantly. Plus, she had said just yesterday that Erin's house wasn't her home. She should respect that. Another listing caught her eye. This one had an outdoor storage space.  
“Googling yourself again?” Patty leaned over her shoulder. “Damn Gilbert, you thinking of upgrading?” Erin smiled a tight smile.  
“Just window shopping. You know how it is. All the good ones are taken.” The words _Or gay._ hung silently in the air. She wished she hadn't said that. Why did she even bring it up. She could have kicked herself.  
“You know, Holtzy is looking for a new place, maybe you two should shack up.”  
“What?!” Erin yelped in surprise.  
“You know, share rent, carpool, know your roommate isn't a serial killer?” Patty was giving Erin a curious look  
“Oh. Um. Right. I don't think she's exactly the roommate of my dreams.”  
“Too much take out and explosions? Yeah, yeah that's fair. You should think about it though. New York has some weirdos, man.”


	5. Chapter 5

At one pm, a loud, jangling alarm rang out from Holtzmann's lab. It went on for nearly five minutes before it was silenced, and followed by the familiar sound of Holtzmann descending the fireman's pole.  
“Here she is, boys!” Holtz declared, as she slowly slid down the pole, legs straight, toes pointed making jazz hands with her free hand. The thick rubber of her boots smacked against the ground. “What's for lunch?”  
Abby wordlessly held out half her sandwich to Holtz. Holtzmann ate it and chatted, studiously avoiding looking at Erin the whole time.

Erin woke up the next morning, alone for the first time in nearly three months. She felt a pang of loneliness. It was ridiculous, she told herself. She had gone years without waking up next to anyone. She would go straight in to work, Erin decided. Just to check the firehouse hadn't been blown up. And to make sure Holtz was alright, she assured herself.

Erin picked up a soy latte for herself and a quadruple espresso for Holtzmann on the way. Her girlfriend would be tired from staying up in the lab all night. She bought a couple of blueberry muffins too, as she'd missed breakfast.

“Honey, I'm hooomme…” Erin jokingly called out as she struggled through the firehouse door, keys in one hand, breakfast in the other. There was no answer.  
“Holtz?” she called, putting the coffees down on the table. She must be asleep. Erin took off her coat and headed upstairs.  
“Holtz..?” she called again as she entered the second floor lab. Her girlfriend wasn't asleep on the work table, face down in a pile of blueprints, hand still sleepily clutching her favourite screwdriver. “Oh.” was all Erin could say. She checked under the desks, work tables and benches. She looked in the Astral Projection chamber that Holtzmann used as her official unofficial nap space. She even checked the bathrooms to make sure Holtzmann hadn't fallen asleep in there.

Erin tried to control her rising panic. The lab was in good shape. It didn't look like Holtzmann had left in the middle of anything. Maybe she was at home. Maybe she'd gone out for some fresh air. Or to the scrapyard. Or to see Dr. Gorin. Holtz would be in at her normal time, she was sure. Erin left the rapidly cooling espresso and the paper bag of muffins on Holtzmann's desk. She had to get on with some work.

Abby arrived, pulling Erin away from the whiteboard pen she'd been chewing while staring at an equation. Her mouth tasted bitter. The pen had leaked.  
“Oh. Hi. You're in early.” Abby looked at her with surprise.  
“Wow, you must’ve been pretty deep in thought. I'm super-late. I had a meeting with our accountant all morning.”  
“Wait, what? What time is it?”  
“It's nearly one. You make any breakthroughs?” Abby said, putting the coffee machine on.

“Where's Patty?” Erin asked, feeling breathless.  
“Library. Holtz upstairs?” Erin shook her head.  
“That's weird. You sure she's not just asleep?” Abby didn't wait for answer. She took the stairs two at a time, calling Holtzmann's name. Erin followed her.  
“Holtzmann… You fall asleep in the mass spectrometer again?” Abby called, looking in all the corners and cubbies Erin had looked in this morning. 

In a single moment, the whole room was ringing. It was ear-splittingly loud and omni-directional, the sound bouncing off of the tiled walls. Erin and Abby looked at each other, seeing their own panic mirrored.  
“What is it?”  
“Do you think something's about to explode?”  
They searched frantically for the source of the noise, unplugging every device they encountered, checking dials for danger symbols.  
“You have got to be kidding me!” Abby held aloft an old-fashioned brass alarm clock. Scrap pieces of metal had been attached to the bells on each side, presumably to make the sound louder and more jarring. Abby turned it off. Relief flooded Erin's body. She had been in such a high state of tension all morning, and now this…. She let out a strangled peal of laughter. Abby looked at her in shock, and then started laughing too. Abby's red-face made Erin laugh all the more.  
“I thought we were gonna die!” Abby choked out between gurgles of laughter.  
“It was…. So… Awesome!” agreed an equally hysterical Erin.

It took fifteen minutes before they both managed to stop laughing. Every time Erin thought she'd stopped, she'd look at Abby and start giggling again.  
“Doesn't look like Holtzy’s here. You wanna go out for lunch?”  
“Aren't you worried about where she might be?” Erin asked incredulously, the panic she'd felt this morning flooding back.  
“Not really." Abby shrugged. "Sometimes she disappears for a couple of days. How about Chinese food?”  
Erin burbled an excuse, and left the firehouse - and a confused and hurt Abby - behind her. She needed to clear her head.


	6. Chapter 6

There was no answer to Erin's repeated buzzing of Holtzmann's apartment intercom. In the street outside Holtzmann's house, her panic was waning, and embarrassment taking over. She felt like a crazy person. She should go back to work. Erin leaned against Holtz’s unmoving front door, tilted her head back and tried to think what she would say to Abby.

Nothing convincing, she was sure of that.

She had skipped breakfast. Maybe she should go home, eat something, calm down and then figure out how to tell Abby that she and Holtz had been dating for nearly three months without getting her head bitten off.

Erin asked the cab driver to go the long way, past Holtzmann's favourite scrapyard, on the off chance that she would spot the blonde engineer gleefully collecting pieces for her next invention. She didn't. Abby was right. Holtzmann was an adventurer, and it was nothing to worry about if she didn't come home for a few days. Erin told herself she would just have to get used to this burning feeling in the pit of her stomach when Holtzmann went adventuring.


	7. Chapter 7

Erin's front door swept open on to a pair of paint-streaked denim overalls that had been stripped off right on top of a pair of combat boots.  
“Well that's one mystery solved.” Erin muttered to herself, half-relieved, half-furious.  
On the counter sat a bag of bagels and a newspaper.  
Erin helped herself to a bagel, topping it with cream cheese and eating it at the breakfast bar with a cup of coffee. She felt calmer. Patty was right about skipping meals being a bad idea. Erin put a load of laundry into the washer dryer - Holtz’s discarded overalls, a few shirts that had made their way to the laundry basket in the bathroom. There. Now she had accomplished something today at least.

Holtzmann emerged from the bedroom, wearing carrot-print boxers and a tank top, and looking bleary-eyed and groggy. She squeezed Erin's waist in greeting and sat at the breakfast bar, her feet up on the stool next to her.  
“Hey you. Where ya been?” Holtz picked up Erin's coffee and downed it in one.  
“At work, Holtzmann.”  
“Wait, what time is it?”  
“It's after two.” Erin could hear the snippiness in her own voice, but she couldn't help herself.  
“Am I on crack, or are you mad at me?” Holtzmann asked, rubbing her face sleepily. Erin sighed.  
“Where have _you_ been? I've been worried sick.”  
“Were you?” Holtzmann looked surprised. “I got caught up with packing up my apartment. I came over for breakfast, figured you'd gone for a run. Must've fallen asleep.”  
“I just... I missed you this morning. And then you didn't come into work, and… Abby said you sometimes disappear for days, and… I don't know, I imagined the worst.”  
“The Langville, Montana worst or the jumped into a portal to a ghost dimension worst?” Holtzmann said it casually, her feet leaning languidly on the breakfast bar, but Erin was shocked. Her cheeks went pink with anger.  
“I had to save Abby. I couldn't leave her!” Holtzmann sighed. She looked uncharacteristically tearful.  
“I know. So you left me instead.”  
“We… We weren't… Together then, Holtz.”  
"I know. And you did what you had to do. I just… You were so important to me already."  
“You don't dance for just anyone, huh?” Erin gently joked.  
“I don't dance for just anyone.”

There was a moment of silence.

“I can promise I won't jump into any more giant ghost portals, if that makes you feel better?”  
“But only if I promise to call if I'm not coming over?” Holtz countered, smiling ruefully. Erin nodded, and let out a tiny sound, somewhere between a giggle and a sob. Holtz moved around the breakfast bar and embraced her. She smelled of sleep and felt so warm. Erin's eyes fluttered, half-registering something out of the corner of her eye.  
“Holtzmann, why is my washer-dryer smoking?”


	8. Chapter 8

It was only a minor fire, Erin had argued to the building management. The answer had been unchanging. Two weeks notice.

Her apartment was too smoky to stay in, and Holtzmann's was full of boxes, so they did what they always did and went back to the firehouse. 

“Hey, you're back! And you found Holtz!” Abby greeted them cheerfully. “I never told you what our accountant said! Guess which company is now officially in the black!” She hit the play button on the boombox on her desk and began to dance ebulliently. Jillian instantly joined in, throwing shapes on the dancefloor that the middle of their office would always be to her. She grabbed Erin's hands, dragging her in between Abby and herself. Abby was doing the running man, arms flailing wildly. Holtz was simulating humping the desk. Erin laughed, lifting her feet and pointing her fingers, completely out of time with the music, but full of joy.

They spent the night eating pizza and watching Dirty Dancing. Abby and Erin were swept away by the grand romance of the movie, and by fond memories of being teenagers desperate to have their hearts broken. Well, Erin had been. She remembered confessing to Abby at sixteen that she couldn't wait to care _so_ much about someone that she wanted to fling herself into their arms. In the sleeping bag next to her, Abby had said she only liked romance in movies. Holtzmann, holding Erin's hand under the blanket that they were all sharing, had seemed perplexed by the plot, but enjoyed the dancing parts and sang along enthusiastically.

“Which couch do you want, Gilbert?” Abby asked when the movie was over. “Holtzmann’ll sleep in her cubby, I mean Astral Projection Chamber, so you get to choose: second hand couch we found on the street, or new couch that Kevin got ectoplasm all over? Decision time.” Erin looked to Holtzmann, who was wide eyed in amusement.  
“...new couch, I guess.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS I feel like I got really emotionally constipated in this fic, and I rewrote from hereon out. I'm sorry! I know it's supposed to be DONE, but I figured out what it needed, I think.

It only took twenty minutes until Abby was snoring hard enough that Erin felt safe heading upstairs. She wouldn't have been able to sleep even if she hadn't been waiting for a chance to sneak off.

The stars on the ceiling of the astral projection chamber glowed welcomingly as Erin crawled inside. Holtzmann lifted the sheets so Erin could slide in beside her. Erin kissed her girlfriend in greeting, feeling elated as their bodies pressed together in the small space.  
"I'm sorry I disappeared on you, Gilbert."  
"I'm sorry I freaked out so much about it."  
"I didn't think you'd mind if I was there by breakfast."  
"Just... Sometimes... I don't know. I get really anxious." Erin confessed.  
"I had noticed." Erin twitched her head in annoyance at Holtz's glib response, but she continued. "You spent a long time not being allowed to be afraid. You're allowed to be afraid now, Erin. Even about dumb things like me not answering my phone." Erin sighed. She felt so... Seen. Naked, but understood.  
"You're right, but... It's more than that. Like, it's... I mean.. I feel like I wasn't allowed to be scared, but that meant I couldn't be optimistic, either. Like, I thought I was just going to go on forever, and then..." Erin's voice cracked with emotion, and Holtz held her closer. "...I don't know. I thought I would never feel any less brittle. I never thought I'd be this... Excited."  
"Well, I am pretty exciting." Holtz joked, and Erin laughed into her neck. Then quietly "I'm excited too, Er-Bear. I'll work on letting you know where I'm sleeping."  
"Thank you, Holtz. I'll work on trusting that you haven't exploded yourself or gotten trapped under a pile of scrap metal, or been abducted by aliens."  
"...don't rule it out completely." Erin smiled.  
“I had fun tonight.”  
“Wanna have some more?” Holtzmann's hand drifted casually across Erin's belly, and Erin felt an electric tingle where her fingers landed. She ran a finger along the line where Erin's underwear met skin. Erin nodded almost imperceptibly, and Holtzmann smoothly pushed her hand under the waistband.

“We have to be quiet.” Erin whispered as Holtz kissed her neck. Erin can feel her grinning in the dark.  
“No my love, _you_ have to be quiet.” Erin let out a tiny gasp as Holtzmann's fingers found her clit. “See?” Erin willed herself to be quiet, smothering her moans by kissing Holtz’s neck. Holtzmann’s fingers stirred expertly, the engineer watching Erin's reactions with a scientific precision.

Erin could feel her whole body shaking, her hand clutching at Holtz’s hair, her lip trembling as she whispered blasphemies into Holtzmann's open mouth.

Abby was still snoring rhythmically downstairs, and Erin was moments away from falling asleep herself.  
“I'm sorry about the washer-dryer. I thought if I upgraded the heating element…”  
“It's ok, Holtz. Just promise you won't upgrade any more of my appliances?”  
“What about jointly owned appliances?”  
“Goodnight, Holtzmann.”


	10. Chapter 10

Holtzmann woke up with an idea. She loved when that happened. She clambered awkwardly over her girlfriend and into the lab to get started.

Not long after, Erin emerged from the half-height closet that served as an astral projection chamber and nap space. Her hair was beautifully tousled, and a slice of soft skin showed at the hem of her shirt as she stretched.  
“We really need somewhere bigger.” she yawned.  
“I've been meaning to get rid of that wall.” Holtz answered, stripping wires. Erin looked startled.  
“Can you?”  
“There's only, like, a two percent chance of damaging the building's structural integrity.” Erin shook her head.  
“Talk to Patty first. She might have plans for the original building. I'm gonna head to the bathroom.” Erin looked around to make sure they were alone, then kissed Holtzmann. “Don't forget to get dressed.”

At her desk an hour later, Erin needed to think seriously about apartments. Unlike when she'd just been window-shopping, her list was very, very short. Places with less than an hour commute to the firehouse, in her budget, that didn't have rats or crumbling walls seemed few and far between. Even fewer if she didn't want a roommate. She sighed and looked through her desk for the list of wishful-thinking apartments she'd made a few days earlier.

At one o’clock, the upstairs lab was filled with the sound of the jangling alarm again. Erin was on the phone to a realtor, but she saw Holtz spin down the fireman’s pole, attempting a high kick at the end that resulted in her crashing to the ground and landing heavily on her butt. Erin felt herself grimace, her hands reaching out instinctively, but Holtzmann just laughed and got right back up.

When Erin entered the kitchen, Holtz was sharing Patty’s macaroni cheese leftovers. Holtzmann raised her eyebrows suggestively at her and then went right back to explaining to Patty why there were seven different brands of plastic cup in the firehouse kitchen.  
"Abby out?" Erin asked to the room at large, not daring to look straight at Holtz.  
“She said something about suppliers of… Something. I don't know. It didn't seem important.” Patty answered. “Did you have a slumber party last night and not call Patty? Patty hurt.”  
“It wasn't a slumber-party, Holtz just nearly burned down my apartment and I…” _Crap._ Erin could have kicked herself.  
“When was Holtz at your apartment?!”  
“Oh, um, weeks ago.” Erin waved a hand faux-casually. “I asked her to, um, fix my washer-dryer, and uh, I guess it didn't work.” She wanted the earth to swallow her.  
“Huh. Not the first apartment building Holtzy has burned down.”  
“And it won't be the last!” Holtzmann joined in, raising her coffee mug to toast.  
“I'd better get back… Phone calls to make..” Erin fled the room.

“You know you should just ask her out.” Patty said it so casually that Holtz almost missed what she was talking about.  
“Wait, what? Who? Erin?”  
“Like you're going over there just to fix her washer-dryer? My car has needed its oil changing the entire time you have known me, but you ain't making heart eyes at me, so I have to deal with Mel at the tyre shop. Nah-uh. I see you.”  
Holtzmann couldn't help but smile.  
“Remind me to buy you lunch sometime, Patty.”  



	11. Chapter 11

Erin spent her evening looking at apartments across the city. Or, at least, across the narrow swathe of city that made it possible to commute to the firehouse in a paranormal emergency. 

It hadn't gone well. She hadn't told anyone to burn in hell though, so it was not as bad as it could have been.

Dispirited by the raccoon infestation in the last apartment she'd looked at, and the sky-high “maintenance fees” on top of the already expensive rent of the one before, Erin headed home. She made a point of saying ‘hi’ to the bored-looking MTA worker in their booth as she exited the subway nearest her house.

Opening her front door, Erin was greeted by the familiar sight of Holtzmann's clothes in a crumpled heap.  
“If I put a laundry hamper here would you use it?” she asked, exasperated. The thought had been percolating in her brain for days - maybe weeks.  
“Sure. It'd be a great place to hide a spare proton pistol. I'm kidding. I could build one right in to the wall so it wouldn't take up any space.” Erin was surprised by the thoughtful offer. It was a pity it came right as she was being forced to move to a new apartment.  
“Oh. Maybe in the next place. Have you had dinner?” As Erin looked in the fridge, she thought about how nice it was coming home to Holtz.

“This is a… difficult conversation.” said the realtor. She'd called first thing in the morning, and it sounded like it was going to be an awkward conversation about the _minor_ fire in Erin's current apartment. “I noticed your name on the file, and… Well… There's a property on my books. It's…”  
“Is it to let?” Erin asked excitedly.  
“No! No, no, no, no…. No. It's for sale. But I think I might be haunted. If you could come take a look though, I'm sure I could find a way to let you know about properties coming on to the market. Before anyone else hears about them.” Erin sighed, and agreed to take a check it out.

The team took less than twenty minutes to reach the address Erin had hastily scribbled down. It was an old carriage house in the middle of Central Park. “Are you sure this is the right place?” Abby asked.  
“There's the realtor.” Erin said, nodding at the well-dressed blonde who was waiting nervously outside the building.  
“Thank you for coming. It's been on and off the market for years. The sales keep falling through.”  
“Huh, that makes sense.” Patty chimed in. “People probably keep figuring out there's an old by-law that says these buildings have to have functioning workshops, so they can't be turned into boutique hotels.”  
“Oh no, we've been very up front about that." said the realtor. "It's the ghosts.”


	12. Chapter 12

The ground floor of the carriage house was one dark room, illuminated only by the large barn door. The room was covered in a heavy layer of dust, and cobwebs dangled from the many wooden beams that criss-crossed the ceiling.  
“Holtz and Abby to the basement, me and Patty’ll head to the top floor, meet you in the middle.” Erin said. The stairs were wide and sweeping. Between the second and third floor, Erin put her hand on the dusty bannister and instantly recoiled at the sticky, waxy ectoplasm.  
“There's definitely something up here.” Patty murmured. The women proceeded quietly, proton guns at the ready. Light fell through the large windows in bright streams that illuminated the dust.  
“Wow, check out the high ceilings.” Erin muttered to herself. Patty looked at her in annoyance.  
“I know you're in a real estate headspace right now, but can we focus?” Erin nodded. The women carefully patrolled the whole top floor. There were two bedrooms and a bathroom. One of the bedrooms still had a four poster bed in, heavy with damask curtains. Nothing moved, there were no sounds but their own footsteps, and so they headed back down the stairs, full of the tension of what was to come. 

As they reached the second floor, Erin and Patty shared a look. The air was colder here. They stepped carefully into the first room, looking around. There was a gentle rattling coming from the other side of the room. 

Proton guns raised, they stepped towards the sound. They identified a closet door as the source of the sound. Another step forward. A small, rumbling growl began, the closet door rattling harder now. They were almost there. The growl grew louder, there was a snap of teeth. Erin's fingers closed around the closet door handle while it shook. A quick nod to Patty. She threw the door open and pointed her proton gun.

At first Erin thought there was nothing there, but then she spotted a small, ghostly dog pressed against the back of the closet. She instantly dropped her guard.  
“Oh, puppy, did we scare you?” she asked dropping to her knees. “Hi. Hi puppy. Hi.” The small dog cautiously moved towards her outstretched palms, wagging not one but two tiny, fluffy tails.  
“You guys!” Patty yelled, startling the dog so it did a little ectoplasmic pee of fear. “Come up here, we found something.” Erin could hear heavy boots rushing upstairs.  
“Ssh, ssh, it's ok little guy.” she comforted the puppy. “They're our friends.” Abby and Holtzmann burst into the room, out of breath, proton guns swinging.

It took a moment for them to adjust to the sight of Erin crouched down, holding her hands out to a spectral puppy.

“Looks like a corgi or something.” Patty supplied. “Couple of days old at the most. They probably didn't keep him around long, ‘cuz of his two tails.” Holtzmann flopped on to the ground next to Erin, eyes wide with wonder. She held her hands out and the puppy bounded towards her, throwing itself into her lap, gently mouthing her hands. She exchanged a look with Erin, her face a picture of pure joy.

“This is very cute but the dust in here is killing my allergies.” Abby interjected. “Is this all you found?” Erin nodded, and Abby continued. “There was nothing on the PKE meter downstairs.”  
“What are we gonna do?” Erin asked.  
“Can you believe we need to bust this little cutie.” Patty sounded disappointed.  
“What?” Holtz looked stricken. “You guys… Look at him… Can't we keep him?” Erin took a deep breath.  
“Oh sweetie. No." said Abby. "He's a ghost. He's not made for this plane. It's not fair on him.” The puppy was so determinedly chewing Holtz's hand that he accidentally rolled off of her lap in a cute little tumble. He shook his head, pointy ears flapping, and rocketed straight back towards Holtzmann, his tails wagging.  
“I'll do it, ok? You don't need to be here for this.” Holtz shook her head.  
“Can we have a minute to say goodbye?” Erin asked. Abby nodded, and she and Patty left the room. 

Erin held Holtz's hand, while Holtzmann stroked the puppy with her other.  
“I always wanted a dog.” she mumbled. Erin thought she could see a tear pooling in the bottom of Holtz’s goggles. She didn't know what to say.  
“Hey, stop that.” The puppy was biting Erin's hands now, not hard, but leaving a wet trail of ectoplasm on her fingers. “I said stop, little guy.” Erin gently pushed the puppy off of her lap.

The puppy tumbled backwards, growling, then suddenly he was rearing his head, his tiny head and soft ears distorting into a giant, slathering dog, his jaws snapping angrily, his lips foaming ectoplasm. Erin scuttled backwards, caught off-guard. He was coming right at her. Before she could even react, a beam of orange light wound its way around the dog’s neck, Holtz threw out the containment unit and the dog was sucked into it with a reassuring metallic _thunk_. Holtzmann calmly reholstered her gun.  
“Down boy.”


	13. Chapter 13

The team picked up tacos on the way back to the firehouse. As soon as they walked through the door, they could hear the loud, jangling alarm ringing out from the lab.  
“Why is that going off again?” shouted Abby above the din.  
“It's my alarm.” answered Holtz, already heading upstairs. “To remind me it’s lunchtime.”

“You know, some people keep their alarm to remind them to eat on the inside of their bodies.” Abby jokes patronisingly when they were all sat at the table. Holtzmann slurped her drink.  
“I don't need to be reminded to eat!”  
“Yeah right, Holtzy. Tell me, what did you have for breakfast?” laughed Patty, confident that Holtzmann would answer ‘pringles’ or possibly ‘nothing’. Erin was surprised to see Holtz blush.  
“I had a poached egg. On toast.” Erin felt herself get hot. Abby's eyes swivelled on to her face. Erin started to stutter something, some excuse, but she couldn't make words come out of her mouth.  
“I KNEW IT!!” yelled Abby. “I freaking KNEW IT!” Patty was looking from Abby's face to Erin's to Holtzmann's. Holtzmann was absorbed in trying to bite her taco without cracking the shell. She looked up at Erin, mouth full, and winked. It gave Erin a little strength.  
“You're right.” Erin breathed deeply. “It's been a few months. Since the wailing wall.”  
“What has? You, you and Holtzy?” Patty was starting to put it all together. “And you didn't know?” she asked Abby.  
“Can you believe this?!” stormed Abby. She looked less gobsmacked now, and more furious. Patty smiled and picked up her taco.  
“Yeah. Yeah, I kinda can.”

It was over an hour after lunch before Erin found an excuse to go to Holtz's lab. Abby was still angrily muttering downstairs, and Erin hadn't wanted to draw any further attention to herself. Holtz was shoulder deep in what looked like a washing machine.  
“Good work on not freaking out today.” Erin said, looking searchingly at her girlfriend. Holtz didn't look up.  
“I've been working on it.”  
“So that happened.” Erin started. “Not your fault. You weren't to know I used to make poached eggs for Abby all through college.”  
“Oh, I knew.” Holtz grinned over her shoulder. “Abby told me.”  
“Oh.” Erin felt her whole body tighten. “Don't… Don’t you think we should have talked about it first?” she forced out. “I mean, we, we were keeping it quiet for a reason.” Sighing, Holtz withdrew from the enormous metal drum she'd had most of her torso in.  
“Still worried you'll change your mind, Gilbert? It's not too late. Last day of the Satisfaction Or Your Money Back deal on sexy engineers. I can put the cat back in the bag.” She sounded resigned. Like she'd practised saying that, and half-expected Erin to agree.  
“The cat’s ok where it is.” Erin said quietly. “I just... I wasn't expecting to tell them yet. But I'm glad they know.”  
“I should have waited until Abby had eaten, yes. Blood sugar stability is very important.”  
“I'm gonna talk to her. See you at home? I mean, at my house? Later?”  
“Hey…” Holtz caught her by the arms and kissed her. “I can do this whenever I want now.”


	14. Chapter 14

“Look, I would say this to Patty, I would say this to the donut girl from down the street, I would say this to that lady reporter who is always sniffing around asking to interview Holtz: be careful. If you hurt her…” Abby paused, but then rallied. This was important. “If you hurt Holtzmann, I will make you into wontons.”  
“I'm sorry we didn't tell you.” was all Erin could say in response.  
“I'm so mad that you didn't feel like you could tell me. Was it the gay thing? Did you think I'd be weird about it?”  
“No, no. It's not that. It's just, you know. Holtzmann. She's Holtzmann.” Erin made an exploding gesture with her hands. “I just didn't want to be embarrassed if things imploded. It's silly.” Erin shrugged.  
“Oh jeez! Really, Erin?! Now I'm going to have to go threaten to make Holtz into wontons!” Abby marched off upstairs.

Erin could hear muffled yelling through the ceiling, pierced by Holtzmann's high, whooping laughter. 


	15. Chapter 15

“No blood loss, go team!” Holtz called out as Erin entered her lab later that evening.  
“She did threaten to turn me into wontons.”  
“Me too, me too. Could've been worse, she stabbed the last girl I brought around with a potsticker. Are you ready to go?” Holtzmann was replacing her stained lab coat with a sweeping men's great coat.  
“Wait, when did Abby STAB SOMEONE?”  
“A minor incident. Just before we met. She says she tripped. But the girl’d just called me a weirdo.”  
“Oh.” was all Erin could muster. She would probably want to jab someone with a potsticker if they'd insulted Holtz in front of her, too. “You're not a weirdo.”  
“Babe, I am completely a weirdo. Let's go.”


	16. Chapter 16

It was nice, being home early. Erin made dinner, while Holtz danced wildly around her, stealing kisses and getting in the way. Afterwards, Erin sat at the breakfast bar and watched Holtzmann wash the dishes, and tried not to micromanage the way she stacked plates on the dish rack, or the amount of soap she used.

When Holtz had finished, she helped herself to a beer from the fridge and perched on the kitchen counter, smiling at Erin. Her yellow safety glasses were on her forehead, a stray curl twirling over them. Erin hated when people sat on the kitchen counter - so unhygienic - but she couldn't bring herself to ask Holtz not to while she was looking at her like that.

“How're you doing?” Holtzmann asked, her head tilted inquisitively.

“I’m good.” Erin answered. She took a large gulp of wine from her glass, trying to steady her nerves. “That was some house, today, right? Did you see those ceilings?”  _How would you feel about sharing a ceiling with me_.  
“We should buy it.” Holtzmann said it matter-of-factly. Erin choked on her wine.  
“We can't do that!”  
“How come?” Holtzmann sipped her wine calmly. Her skin was smooth, her eyes narrowed in concentration.  
“I…. We… You…” Erin steadied herself with a mouthful of wine. “I don't know.”  
“It's cheap, because of the haunting, and it's got a huge workshop and basement.”  
“But… What about us?”  
“What _about_  us?” Holtz eyebrows were raised, her lips pursed. She looked like a caricature of someone listening.  
“You really want to live with me?” Erin blurted. Holtzmann's mouth dropped open in shock, then a peal of surprised laughter gurgled up out of her throat.  
“I don't offer to buy a house with every girl I meet, Gilbert.”


	17. Chapter 17

They talked late into the night. Holtz had a lump sum she’d been given after a lab accident she’d caused at college.  
“Apparently I wasn’t supervised properly” she’d grinned. Erin could believe that. Holtzmann was a handful now; seventeen year old Holtzmann, full of youthful energy and ambition must have been exhausting. “I think it might be hush money so I don’t tell anyone I was attempting cold fusion.”  
“Nothing nuclear at the new house.”  
“But what about my workshop?!”  
“That’s just for personal projects.”  
“But achieving cold fusion in my basement IS a personal project!” Holtz had protested. Erin just stared, unmovable. Holtz sighed.  
“Allriiiiiight. Nothing nuclear in the new house.”

Erin finished her glass of wine. She looked at the legal pad in front of her, covered in things to do, by-laws to look up, account balances. She felt dizzy with excitement.  
“Are we really doing this?” she asked. Holtz drained the last of her beer.  
“We can. We don’t have to. It’d be fun.”  
“I want to live with you.” Erin said, thoughtfully. “Ideally somewhere where no one will mind too much if you start a fire.”  
“If?” Holtz smirked “Are you ready for bed? We don’t have to decide right now.”

Erin pulled Holtz’s t-shirt off of the lampshade and tossed it into the laundry hamper. _Could she really do this indefinitely?_ She slid into bed, where Holtzmann was spread out like a starfish, her hair spread on Erin’s pillow. It smelt like a forest fire; like smoke and rain. _Yes, she could do this indefinitely._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a little stuck, but I got there in the end. Chapters 9-13 have been revised, but you won't need to reread.
> 
> Thank you for all your likes, comments and love.


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